Gather 'round childrens, I have a tale to tell.
To celebrate Benjamin's achievements, I went to Walmart. I wanted a few other things in addition to the water filter, namely a poster, poster tape, and stain remover. As I pulled in to the springville walmart, a truck sped through a stop sign, missing me by about a foot. This startled my car significantly, so it hurried to its parking space and let me out. I told my car I'd be back momentarily -- I only needed a few things, namely a water filter, a poster to decorate my wall, tape to hold up my poster, and some stain remover.
I set out looking for my primary target -- the water filter. Where does one find a water filter? I reasoned it would be near the kitchen stuff. So, I wandered around the kitchen aisles a few times, but couldn't see it. I thought maybe it was a "health" item so I wandered over to the health & beauty section. Nope, not there. Hmm.. Maybe I should look for posters.
While searching for posters I found the tape I was looking for, but couldn't find the posters. I searched a few sections, but came up empty handed. I decided it was time to ask the employees for assistance. There must have been a rave party in the back rooms -- all the employees I could find acted like they were high. "Excuse me, could you tell me where I can find a water filter?" Blank stare, long pause. "No." So I kept searching on my own. I expanded my search grid to include the entire store, other than the clothing department. Still I could not find it, or the posters. Because the walmart employees were not being helpful, I called up several people and asked them where they thought I might find these items. All of them had the same assumptions I had had. I checked these areas again, but couldn't find anything. As I wandered around, I eventually came across an employee that didn't look like he was on drugs. He directed me to the housewares department, to an aisle with office water coolers. There, in with the office water coolers, was a water filter. After further inspection, it was an office cooler water filter. Not quite what I was after.
I searched again. I found that walmart has three separate areas they stock coffee makers, but couldn't find the water filters. I decided to focus my search on the area around where the office water filter had been. Then I found it. Between the toilet seats and the smoke alarms exists a small colony of water filters, of the variety you can pour water into, wait a minute, and pour water out of. How they got there, I don't know. I grabbed one and decided I'd had enough searching, posters could wait for another day. I checked out, and as I was on my way to the exit, I found the posters, behind the check-out stands. I skimmed through them and found their target audience was little kids and movie buffs. An hour and a half after entering the walmart, I emerged with poster tape and a water filter, to find that someone had crashed their shopping cart into my car. Luckily there was no damage (that I could see), but my car didn't appreciate it, and doesn't want to go back to walmart.
To celebrate Benjamin's achievements, I went to Walmart. I wanted a few other things in addition to the water filter, namely a poster, poster tape, and stain remover. As I pulled in to the springville walmart, a truck sped through a stop sign, missing me by about a foot. This startled my car significantly, so it hurried to its parking space and let me out. I told my car I'd be back momentarily -- I only needed a few things, namely a water filter, a poster to decorate my wall, tape to hold up my poster, and some stain remover.
I set out looking for my primary target -- the water filter. Where does one find a water filter? I reasoned it would be near the kitchen stuff. So, I wandered around the kitchen aisles a few times, but couldn't see it. I thought maybe it was a "health" item so I wandered over to the health & beauty section. Nope, not there. Hmm.. Maybe I should look for posters.
While searching for posters I found the tape I was looking for, but couldn't find the posters. I searched a few sections, but came up empty handed. I decided it was time to ask the employees for assistance. There must have been a rave party in the back rooms -- all the employees I could find acted like they were high. "Excuse me, could you tell me where I can find a water filter?" Blank stare, long pause. "No." So I kept searching on my own. I expanded my search grid to include the entire store, other than the clothing department. Still I could not find it, or the posters. Because the walmart employees were not being helpful, I called up several people and asked them where they thought I might find these items. All of them had the same assumptions I had had. I checked these areas again, but couldn't find anything. As I wandered around, I eventually came across an employee that didn't look like he was on drugs. He directed me to the housewares department, to an aisle with office water coolers. There, in with the office water coolers, was a water filter. After further inspection, it was an office cooler water filter. Not quite what I was after.
I searched again. I found that walmart has three separate areas they stock coffee makers, but couldn't find the water filters. I decided to focus my search on the area around where the office water filter had been. Then I found it. Between the toilet seats and the smoke alarms exists a small colony of water filters, of the variety you can pour water into, wait a minute, and pour water out of. How they got there, I don't know. I grabbed one and decided I'd had enough searching, posters could wait for another day. I checked out, and as I was on my way to the exit, I found the posters, behind the check-out stands. I skimmed through them and found their target audience was little kids and movie buffs. An hour and a half after entering the walmart, I emerged with poster tape and a water filter, to find that someone had crashed their shopping cart into my car. Luckily there was no damage (that I could see), but my car didn't appreciate it, and doesn't want to go back to walmart.
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