Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Does it get any easier?

That's the question Erica asked of me at lunchtime today-(about sending my children on missions of course). The answer is yes and no. Easier than sending my first child to a 3rd world country and having not a clue how bad it could really be (my imagination was bad enough)...that was hard! But no, practice doesn't make it any easier. The pain seems to come in waves. I will be fine for a while, and then, for no explainable reason, it feels like something has physically been ripped off of my heart...and it just really aches...followed by tears.

I have always wondered the medical explanation for why your heart seems to be in physical pain when separated from someone we love very much. (Brigham? ) And it is not like I haven't been separated from BJ before. She spent 2 1/2 years in So. California. But it is harder this time, because we can't see or contact her any time we want to. That changes everything!
I absolutely have no regrets about her decision to serve a mission. I think it is the best decision she ever made! But it is still hard to let her go! I was happy to see her smiling as we pulled away (through my tears). It was cute: when we pulled into the MTC, there were a bunch of Elders by the curb -waiting for a shuttle bus or something-, anyway, as we drove by most of them waved at us...probably about 50 of them. I told her she had never been so popular in her life! And then when we stopped, there were some elders there to take her suitcases and lead her into the MTC. We didn't get to get as many pictures as I wanted to...and I would have liked more time there to say a slow goodbye, but with Elder's waiting, I didn't feel we had that kind of time. So it was short. And she's gone. And I am going to bury my heartache in a movie and popcorn tonight.
I will be anxious to get Buffy's first Email!

1 comment:

Gramps said...

Speaking of email...Breanna is going to be emailing her blog: groneman.blogspot.com so if you aren't reading that already, you should start. She'll also get automatically emailed any posting on this blog. Of course she'll probably be hoping for email in her in box. She was cute...obviously excited to get going. All smiles.