Movie Review: Howard's End

Never judge a book by it's cover -- you may find yourself surprised. Likewise, should you ever run across a movie title of "Howard's End," and judge it to be an epic tale of a man "Howard" who is faced with the impending "end" of whatever subject your imagination supplies, and finds himself in jeopardy and car-chasing, gun-fighting, heart-stopping, explosive action to thwart imminent doom and peril -- you would be wrong.

But don't tell the movie user-rating systems that. The recently reviewed "No Reservations" received 6.3/10 ratings and seemed to be generally accepted as not the greatest movie, but still enjoyable. Howard's End on the other hand is simply neither, and at a 7.3/10, will be your mind's Demerol
®, your wallet's BIC® lighter, and 140 minutes of life you could have spent counting fruit flies on rotting food instead of counting seconds in your rotting mind.

In all fairness, the the film which has received 3 Oscars and 22 other notable wins is not entirely void of meaning and purpose. Well, in meaning, yes. In purpose, it would serve well as a non-pharmaceutical sleeping aid or arguably the world's first effective audiovisual tool to encourage a more active and productive lifestyle away from the silver screen.

Even the movie trailer, in it's condensed format is so void of any sort of plot that a person is challenged to find himself at the end of it without getting distracted by floating dust in the room.

My feelings toward this movie are perhaps best described by Dave Barry's feelings toward classical music:
"I myself am not a big fan. I will go to a classical concert only under very special circumstances, such as that I have been told to make a ransom payment there."

In summary, it will make you cry. It will make you laugh. But probably only from the pain of the pressure ulcers that develop as you watch or the ability you have to write honest movie reviews about it many years after it has scarred your dumber-than-it-was-140-minutes-ago mind.

Comments

Gramps said…
I could have gone all day without you reminding me that such a worthless piece of film exists.
Chad said…
Did you actually attempt to watch it again? Once was way too much for me.

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